I’ve spent the last 6 months telling people that I’m not a writer anymore. Whenever anyone asked if I was working on anything, I’d give them the same empty, dismissive answers:
“Oh no, I’m done with that.”
“I’m going to focus on other things.”
“I doubt I’ll ever write again, I just have no interest.”
My last book to be completed and published was at the end of 2024.
In the year following, I had a couple of ideas… but I’d typically drop them after a week of brainstorming.
By autumn of 2025, I had made my decision: I was quitting writing once and for all. And up until a month or so ago, I was sure of it.
You might be wondering… how did I even get to that point? And more importantly, what changed?
I was wondering the same thing. To find the answer, I needed to not only do some deep reflection, but I had to face the truth of where things went wrong.
There are some easy excuses. I was juggling full-time online college, a part-time job, moving, and even my first pregnancy. But I knew that the deterioration of my motivation began long before that, in a cycle that we will refer to as the ‘death spiral’.
The Death Spiral
In ant colonies, there is an eerie phenomenon that causes ants to follow one another endlessly in circles until they ultimately die.
Awful, right? Well, that’s sort of what happened to my writing career.
It would begin with a series, or- more accurately- an anticipated series. I would have such a good plan in place, practically infallible! The plan would be to rapid-release the books on Amazon, and once a few were out, I’d make the first one free. I’d have readers flocking to me. I’d have a brilliant author career, a huge fanbase, and I wouldn’t need to work for someone else anymore!
According to my plan, I would successfully carry out the first step: publish the first book.
Then I’d check the reviews. I’d check the sales dashboard. I’d refresh, then refresh again.
I was always aware that I shouldn’t expect momentum until I had a few books out, and yet here I was, not writing book two because my eyes were glued to the results of book one.
And this is where it would end. I’d get so in my head, so obsessive over the sales (or lack thereof) that I wouldn’t even start the second book, let alone publish. I am sad to say that this has happened with not just one of my series, not just two, but five. Four of them were under my old pen name (my maiden name), and the last was my most recent novel, which was under my current pen name.
In short, I have never published a second book in a series.
It was beginning to make me feel so disappointed, in both the numbers and myself, that it started to feel like it wasn’t even worth it. By the time I began to struggle with morning sickness in my pregnancy, I was already burnt out, and I began to associate writing (and creativity in general) with physical illness.
So I stopped.
Well… I’m back
Now, for the “what’s changed”. How did I go from wanting nothing to do with writing a few months ago, to now planning a full author re-brand?
Honestly, the answer is simple: I couldn’t escape it.
However much I tried to pretend like it wasn’t part of me, I don’t think I could ever not be a writer. Sure, I have other passions and hobbies, but nothing lights me up the way writing does.
When I told my husband I was thinking about getting back into writing, he wasn’t surprised. This shocked me, because I was fully convinced that I was done for good. He, on the other hand, said that he had no doubt I’d start writing again. He knew even better than I did that it’s a core part of who I am.
So now that I know I want to get back into writing, publishing and building a brand as an author, what’s to stop me from repeating the same bad habits?
That’s where my new plan comes in.
The Plan
Social Media
Moving forward, I want to prioritize realistic consistency in both my writing and showing up online.
I’ve divided my online presence into three focuses. These will be X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, and this blog. I’m not going to give myself a strict posting schedule, but I do want to be engaging fairly regularly on all three in order to build an audience and a community.
X will be for more regular, daily posts, even things as simple as writing memes or thoughts.
On TikTok, I’ll be posting funny, relatable writing skits. I enjoy making these and other people seem to enjoy watching them, so I’ll try to post one each week.
This blog is for more thought-out posts, whether they be new writing techniques I’m trying, or writing freebies that I’ve designed (another thing I love making). Since these are a little more time-consuming, I’ll likely be posting here once every 1-2 weeks.
Again, I’m not being too hard on myself when it comes to frequency of posts. As long as I’m posting and gaining momentum, even if it’s slow, I’ll be happy.
My Writing
This is where I’m being a little more strict with myself, but not in the way you might imagine.
I’ve never been a “sit down and write this many words a day” kind of writer. It isn’t because I lack the discipline or just haven’t tried hard enough; when I force writing on bad days, my quality suffers and I get very easily distracted. What I’ve found works best for me personally are binge-writing days when I set time aside, lock myself in a room, get inspired, and go crazy. I’ve had days of writing 15k+ words this way, and somehow the writing is still my best. Rather than fighting this tendency, I want to embrace it and allow it to be a part of my process.
So my writing plan has nothing to do with specific word counts, or even a harsh deadline. It’s more about enforcing rules for myself that will keep me from ending up where I was before.
My current project is the first in a YA fantasy dystopian trilogy. My goal is to finish the first book before my son is born (giving me about 13 weeks, give or take). However, I’m not publishing right away. I am only allowed to publish each book in the series when I’m a good way into writing the next one.
Not only this, but I’d like to limit how often I check the sales dashboard and reviews. For example, I might try only checking them every time I write 1,000 more words, or only at the end of a productive day.
Most important of all, I am shifting my mindset. Rather than allowing a lack of momentum to deter me from moving forward, I need to accept that it’s normal in the beginning. I will only truly evaluate numbers once all three books are out and I’ve kept up my social media presence consistently. At that point my focus can be trying new marketing tactics, since it won’t be distracting me from the actual writing.
This time around, it’s not about building quickly. It’s about building sustainably, and in a way that supports other things in my life rather than competing with them.
If you want to watch me put this plan into practice, I encourage you to stick around for the ride! I’m sure my strategies will change along the way, but that’s sort of the point. Trial and error can be frustrating, but I’m reminding myself every day that it’s how we grow.
I hope to see you in the next post!
Paper Windows 
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